My name is Lisa,
I'll be 19 next month. On December 29, 03 it will have been 3 years since I
lost my only true best friend; his name is Sammy. He died 4 days after turning
13yrs old. He's German Shepard/ husky, Just typing this makes me cry! The
thing that bothers me most is his last 3 months before he died were bad.
Normally he weighed 99/100 lbs. He dropped roughly 20-30lbs, he would not
walk, we had to lift him to go outside - which half of the time just as
we got him up everything came out, so he could not go up our stairs to bed.
For 2 months I slept on the floor right by his side every night. Before
crawling into bed I would tell him I loved him and if he had to leave I would
understand I knew he was in pain (but when mom told me a month before he died
she was going to have him put to sleep I told her no and I hated her and if
she had him put to sleep I was going to leave and never speak to her again.
She put the phone down and said I would not blame you for not wanting to speak
to me, I would do the same thing if I were in your position). I did that as a
nightly thing. This is what bothered me - after doing that every night,
the night of the 28th, I just for some reason forgot to say "I Love You!" The
next morning mom woke me up at about 9am by kneeling next to me. When I sat up
dazed I looked at mom and she said " I need you!" "what is wrong?" I asked and
she said "It's Sammy! He..He Died last night!" and I just burst. Till this day
I just can not forgive myself for not saying "I Love You!!" I would do any
thing to do that night over again! He was my brother, my best friend, Oh He
was My Everything! If I could say 1 last thing to he it would be "I Love You
and I will Never Forget You!" I am glad god took him because he was in pain
but oh how I wish I could have him back even if it was just for five minutes!
" I Love you Sammy!! if you were looking down from heaven while i am writing
this you would see just how much I miss you because i can't stop crying!!"